Are we listening ……?

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During our lives we will have many conversations, all of varying importance. Communication is a skill that we acquire through observing others and quite often we never really think about how positive our own communication skills are. Many of us during a conversation are not listening to what is actually said ……

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ― Stephen R. Covey

By considering how effective our communication is we can improve many aspects of our lives. A good place to start is to stop making assumptions. They can, unknowingly lead to confusion and misunderstandings. We can often presume that people are on the same page as we are and will be thinking along the same lines. However, if people have not had the same experiences as you, then they may have a different idea or approach to situations. Often we can have a plan in or minds before we even discuss it with anybody. We will then have a whole scenario planned out and we can therefore feel confused or frustrated when people do not do what we have expected……this is because we presume they are thinking like us.

Therefore be clear when you are talking to people and listen to what they are saying back in return. Don’t be afraid to clarify points, this can prevent future misunderstandings. Another point to consider is how and what you are saying, try not to be negative about yourself and others. Avoid gossip, as this will only take you to a place of negativity. If you speak with compassion and understanding this will not only help others, but it will also keep you with in a place of love.

Finally do not be too quick to judge others or take things personally…… At a busy shopping centre I saw a friend walk past…..I said hello but they did not reply. Many people could feel hurt, that they have been ignored and immediately begin to wonder what they have done wrong. Possibly ignoring the person next time they see them. However, consider did they hear you, may be you…. did not hear them reply. Were they deep in thought with their own worries?

If we stay positive and look for the best in situations hopefully others will treat us the same. However if they do not, at least we know that we have come from a place of love and nobody can regret that.

 ‘The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen the more and talk the less.’ – Zeno of Citiumthe-reason-why-we-have-two-ears-and-only-one-mouth-is-that-we-may-listen-the-more-and-talk-the-less-zeno-of-citium